Feeling Like a Fraud?
You know that feeling. You’ve just landed the project, got the promotion, or launched the thing you’ve been working on for months. Logically, you know you earned it. But internally? There’s a quiet, nagging voice whispering: “They’re going to find you out. You don’t actually know what you’re doing. You’ve just been lucky.”
If that sounds familiar, take a deep breath. You are not alone.
What Actually Is Imposter Syndrome?
Coined by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in the 70s, imposter syndrome describes an internal experience of intellectual phoniness. Despite external evidence of competence, those experiencing it remain convinced they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have.
In plain English? It’s believing you’re not as good as people think you are.
It’s looking at your CV and thinking, “How did I talk my way into this?” It’s scrolling through LinkedIn or Instagram, seeing everyone else’s highlights, and feeling like you’re the only one winging it.
Why Do We Feel This Way?
I used to think imposter syndrome was a sign of weakness. I thought confident people just… didn’t feel it. But the truth is, some of the most brilliant people I know—from CEOs to creatives—struggle with this.
Often, it stems from a few places:
- Perfectionism: Setting standards so high that anything less than flawless feels like failure.
- Comparison: Measuring your behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.
- New Challenges: Stepping into a new role or starting a business often triggers the feeling that you’re out of your depth.
In the UK, we’re also culturally quite modest, aren’t we? We’re taught not to brag, to keep our heads down, and to be grateful just to be in the room. Sometimes, that modesty mutates into a belief that we don’t belong in the room at all.
How I’m Learning to Manage It
I’m not going to sit here and tell you I’ve “cured” my imposter syndrome. Some days, that voice is still there. But I have developed tools to turn the volume down. Here is what works for me, and what might work for you too.
1. Keep a ‘Brag File’
This sounds a bit cringe, I know. But it’s brilliant. Whenever you receive positive feedback, finish a tough task, or hit a milestone, screenshot it or write it down. Keep it in a folder on your phone or a document on your laptop. When the doubt creeps in, open the file. It’s hard evidence. It’s data that proves you are capable. You can’t argue with facts.
2. Reframe ‘I Don’t Know’
Imposter syndrome tells us that not knowing something immediately means we’re a fraud. I’m learning to reframe this. Not knowing the answer doesn’t mean you’re incompetent; it means you have an opportunity to learn. Instead of thinking, “I should know this,” try thinking, “I haven’t learned this yet, but I can figure it out.”
3. Talk About It
Secrecy feeds imposter syndrome. When you keep the fear hidden, it grows. When I’ve admitted to a colleague or a friend, “Actually, I’m feeling a bit out of my depth with this,” the response is almost always, “Oh thank goodness, me too.” Realising you’re not the only one feeling like an imposter is incredibly liberating.
4. Separate Feelings from Facts
Just because you feel like a fraud doesn’t mean you are one. Feelings are valid, but they aren’t always factual. When the anxiety hits, ask yourself: Would I say this to a friend? If a friend came to you with your achievements, would you tell them they were a fraud? Of course not. So why say it to yourself?
You Belong Here
Here is the thing I want you to take away from this post: You do not need to feel 100% ready to start. You do not need to know everything to be worthy of your seat at the table.
Sometimes, confidence doesn’t come before the action. Confidence comes after you’ve done the thing, survived the thing, and realised you were capable all along.
So, the next time that voice pipes up, acknowledge it, thank it for trying to protect you from failure, and then gently tell it to take a back seat. You’ve worked hard for where you are. You’ve earned your spot.
Over to You: Have you ever felt like you were ‘winging it’ when everyone else seemed to have it together? I’d love to hear how you handle those moments.
Until next time, be kind to yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
Imposter Syndrome
1. What exactly is imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is the persistent feeling that you’re not as competent as others perceive you to be, despite evidence of your skills and achievements. It often manifests as a fear of being “found out” or believing your success is down to luck rather than ability.
2. Is imposter syndrome a mental health condition?
No, it’s not a clinically recognised diagnosis. However, it can significantly impact your confidence, increase anxiety, and affect your wellbeing. If these feelings become overwhelming, speaking with a qualified coach or counsellor can help.
3. Who experiences imposter syndrome?
Anyone can experience it—students, professionals, creatives, entrepreneurs, and even high-achievers. It’s particularly common among neurodivergent adults, LGBTQIA+ individuals, and those stepping into new roles or environments where they feel underrepresented.
4. Why do I feel like a fraud even when I’m succeeding?
This disconnect often stems from perfectionism, early experiences of criticism, or comparing your internal doubts with others’ external confidence. Your brain may be filtering out positive feedback while amplifying self-criticism—a pattern we can work to rewire.
5. How can I stop feeling like an imposter?
You may not eliminate the feeling entirely, but you can manage it. Practical steps include keeping a “brag file” of achievements, reframing negative self-talk, sharing your feelings with trusted people, and focusing on progress over perfection.
6. Does imposter syndrome ever go away?
For many, it lessens with self-awareness, experience, and supportive strategies. Some people find it resurfaces during new challenges—and that’s normal. The goal isn’t to silence the voice completely, but to ensure it doesn’t drive your decisions.
7. Can coaching or counselling help with imposter syndrome?
Absolutely. A trauma-informed, person-centred approach can help you explore the roots of these feelings, challenge unhelpful beliefs, and build a kinder, more accurate narrative about your capabilities. I offer both coaching and counselling sessions tailored to your needs.
8. I’m neurodivergent—does that make imposter syndrome worse?
Many neurodivergent clients report that imposter feelings are heightened by masking, late diagnosis, or navigating environments not designed with their needs in mind. Working with someone who understands neurodiversity can make a significant difference in feeling seen and validated.
9. How do I handle imposter syndrome at work or when starting a business?
Start small: document your wins, seek constructive feedback (not just praise), and surround yourself with people who reflect your value back to you. Remember, feeling uncertain doesn’t mean you’re unqualified—it often means you’re growing.
10. When should I seek professional support?
If imposter syndrome is stopping you from applying for roles, sharing your work, setting boundaries, or is contributing to burnout, anxiety, or low self-worth, it may be time to reach out. You don’t have to navigate these feelings alone.
Have a question that isn’t answered here? Get in touch via the contact page—I’m always happy to help.
You Are Enough
Imposter syndrome thrives in silence, but it loses power when brought into the light. Remember: feeling like a fraud doesn’t make you one. Your doubts are not evidence of inadequacy—they are often a sign that you are stretching, growing, and stepping beyond what feels safe.
The path forward isn’t about waiting until you feel “ready” or “certain”. It is about taking the next small step, even with the noise in your head. Keep your brag file close. Reframe the narrative. Speak your fears aloud. And above all, treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend in your shoes.
You have earned your place. Your perspective matters. And you do not have to do this alone.
If this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Or, if you are ready to dig deeper into these patterns in a safe, non-judgemental space, I offer one-to-one coaching and counselling sessions online. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is reach out.
📞 Book a confidential consultation
📍 Online sessions available across the UK, US, Europe
Tatjana | Person-Centred Coach & Consultant
Specialist Support for LGBTQIA+ Individuals and Neurodivergent Adults